so today i posed a question to a couple of people who are of some sort of significance to my life. some more significant that others. some who have gained their significance more recently and some who were of much more significance in the past. most were people i consider very close friends.

the question i posed was this, what is my biggest flaw when it comes to my personality? && these are the answers i got.

Bakari: (friend)

“You seem like you fall for people fast and give too much too fast. Dat’s da only flaw I noticed.

Jabari: (very close friend)

“The fact that you hold onto things. You can’t let go of ___. Thats an example but you tend to focus on things of the past or things that you cannot change. It can hold you down/back from making a better future for yourself.

Kieonna: (very good friend)

“You’re stubborn at times…but im sure you knew that hun…nothing else i can really think of.”

Jean: (very good friend)

“You’re too darn emotional! && you love these hoes”

Jakira: (very close friend/grandma/pilot)

“Idkkk…um nah I dont know. I dont see your flaws”

Kenny: (past significance)

“You are too emotional”

Nate V.: (past significance)

“This is a tough but good question. I would say you can be stubborn at times, and also you kinda sort erase people from your life once you’ve made up your mind.”

Kellei: (very close friend/pilot)

“Umm…idk. everyone’s unique in their own way lol. I think your personality is fine

Tahj: (very close/longtime friend)

“You dont value yourself”

Corey: (best friend/future husband)

“U let shit get to u too much u get down when shit go wrong”

Cedarian: (friend)

“You take more from people than you really have to”

Donavon: (bestie)

“Umm..idk if this has to do with your personality..but you have a hard time trusting ppl…other than that i think you’re a sweetheart.”

David: (past significance/ex-boyfriend/first everything)

“boycrazy”

now, as i read each and every person’s response i cried. i already had an idea what everyone was going to say but it still hurt hearing it. the consensus was that im too emotional. also, from the similarity of most of the answers, many of my problems stem from males. the crazy thing about this is that i am fully aware of these problem i just don’t know how to fix them. some of the answers were based off of individual experiences i may have had with the person && others just based off of them knowing what i’ve been through. so, what do i do now? i know that i am too emotional, but should i change? someone tweeted one day && said “you cannot control your emotions, but you can control how you express them.” that tweet really hit close to home. so i decided that is what i am going to do. learn how to express my emotions without bombarding people with them.

amigas. cheetas. friends for life :) lmfao we were using the timer on my camera posted on my shoe shelf LOL these are my bitches no one will ever compare to them i love them to death. we have all been through EVERYTHING together && when i say everything i dont think anyone will grasp the concept of what i mean. these are truly my bitches.

she was my first friend when i transfered to nmb freshman year. we both were new. it’s like we were destined to be friends. we have been through so much together && even after about 2 1/2 years of not seeing each other and months of not talkin our friendship is still strong as ever. i love her so much. our inside jokes are still funny as fuck just like they were when they first came about. i can tell her anything. i cant wait for the day i get to see her again. ily tia :)

i find that i’m always stuck. there’s always one person i’m stuck on for absolutely no reason. i was never the type to get over a guy in a quickness. im actually quite the opposite, i get over them veryyyy slowly. my main problem is that instead of finding all the bad in someone i’d rather find the good && only remember them for the good. so no matter how lame, rude, naive, ignorant, “swagless” or whatever they may be, if i like them enough i will ignore all of that. and while they’ve moved on to the next (cuz i was only temporary of course) im stuck with only memories *sigh* i have really got to stop. i need to become more selective. stop opening up so much. it’s not healthy. i used to think that was a good quality to have but im slowly realizing that it’s my downfall. 

home…oh how i miss thee.

Miami, Fl. The place I call home.

#nowplaying put it in your mouth - akinyele

lyrics real as fuck. lmfao.

im some what leary of the word. the word no longer holds the value that it used to. it’s thrown around casually. i admit, i use the word loosely on occasions when im trying to describe someone and the first word that comes to mind is “friend” when im really just trying to describe someone i associate myself with. for the most part, if i don’t like you i won’t talk to you. so, if i talk to you then that means at the very least i can tolerate you, but that doesn’t make you my friend. a friend is someone you can trust. someone who will always look out for you && tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear. for a friendship to work properly those traits have to be mutual. you should never have to question whether your friends intentions are good. so just because i may associate myself with you, doesn’t make us friends.

• you probably havent been in my life for the past 5 years dealing with my attitude and yet, still to this day listen to all my problems when i call like @GigasArbor. you probably weren’t there to clean me up, walk me back to my room and change me into sleep clothes the night i tweaked in drew like @GraceKELLEI, @RuthBeTold and @jayemmbee. you probably weren’t there for me when i needed somethng like @caNIMATch and you probably weren’t the one tellin the person i liked how much of a great person i am like @_JayWhite

thats just to name a few. i dont have many “real friends” but i have a good amount that i am appreciative of.

(in no particular order)

• @GigasArbor
• @RuthBeTold
• @_JayWhite
• @GraceKELLEI
• @RealCaliGirl
• @caNIMATch
• @coryjevalier
• @briana_shanae
• @RavenHaywood
• @Lady_Tee
• @Likeataxi
• @Kie2yourheart
• @ScottiLVron
• @SouljaRoy
• @xo_southerndoll
• @idntbangs_wyou
• @Top305Dog
• @adoresb
• @feeltheafrikkan
• @CALLMEBETSEY
• @PreTtyLiTtleJu
• @Trigga_Tay
• @asToldbyTia
• @spiffywestbrook
• @RichEnt_DroJr
• @_DIVINEdime

@CheikhScruzLoos… You can’t Control your Emotions. But You CAN Control How you Express Them

this was how i left frazier 216. the same way i found it. empty; i had to create my own memories && just as they were created i had to erase them from the room, but not from my memories :) im gonna miss the harriet tubman quadrangle.

aubrey drake graham. what a beautiful baby. 

What it is about niggas (&& when I say niggas I mean black people as a whole) and challenges. Black people don’t never wanna back down from nothin! LMFAO this right here is a perfect example. I told Chubby (@DjChubbeSwagg) that he wouldn’t we able to open my drawer with his foot && this nigga did not stop til he opened it smhhh. Everybody I know is like that LOL all I have to say is “You not bout to do that tho” and they’ll prove me wrong. I guess you could say that’s the great thing about black folk. They’re always willing to prove someone wrong && they never like to back down from a challenge.

freshman year photobooth

this album is really helpin me put my life into perspective right now…ugh i love erykah badu.